This is a guest post by Jon Rhodes. Jon is a very successful clinical hypnotherapist from the UK. If you are interested in self improvement, you can read the details of his very popular therapeutic hypnosis mp3 sessions. Charisma can help you in many aspects of life. It can help you win friends, be popular with the opposite sex, and even land that new exciting job. There is almost nothing that charisma can help you achieve.
For some, it is very natural to be charismatic. They just seem to have that ‘X-Factor’. However it is comforting to know that charisma can also be developed. Here are four top methods to help boost your charisma:
1 Have goals you are working towards. There are a lot more followers than leaders, so if you want to stand out then be a trailblazer. There is nothing wrong with being a follower, but people are naturally drawn to leaders.
Set yourself goals to work to. Have a sense of purpose and a vision – a big goal that you are working towards. You may or may not succeed to meet your goal, or it might change over time, but if you always have one, people will naturally feel drawn to you as you present the possibility of an exciting future. Don’t simply pretend to have a goal as people will quickly see through you and you will lose all credibility. In any case it is far more satisfying to spend life attempting to meet realistic goals.
2 Love yourself. If you don’t like yourself, how do you expect others to like you? Unknowingly you constantly give out thousands of small subconscious clues on how you should be treated, and it all begins with treating yourself right.
You need to learn to appreciate that you are a unique and valuable human being. Accept yourself as you are. It’s fine to have some flaws. You can work on improving them. However it must be remembered that the most charismatic people on earth are the ones with flaws. Someone who is perfect is not really all that interesting anyway. People are drawn to people, not robots. Be happy with who you are, wart and all. Love yourself and others will soon follow suit.
3 Be honestly interested in others. You must have met many people who talk incessantly about themselves? This may be OK at first, but after a while it becomes very tiresome and you just want to avoid them.
Charismatic people appreciate other people just as much as they appreciate themselves. Relax and listen properly to what other people are saying. Give them space to talk. You will learn new things, and they will notice and appreciate that you actually listen to them. The Chinese have a saying: “You have two ears and one mouth – use them in that proportion.”
Some people struggle concentrating on listening to others, and become anxious that they may forget what they are thinking next. This causes them to not listen properly to what the person was saying, as they struggle to remember what they want to say, then immediately respond to what they say with something totally irrelevant.
This will not win you too many fans, and is irritating to the recipient. Relax, allow that thought to disappear, and listen. This thought will return if it is still relevant. If it is so important, you will remember it again some time in the future. With a little practice listening becomes much easier, and you will enjoy far more productive two way conversations.
4 Model someone who you consider very charismatic. Hypnotherapists and NLP practitioners often utilize this technique very successfully. It could be a friend, a celebrity, or even a fictional character that you model. You may wish to be like James Bond for example. Don’t try and copy them exactly, just consider how they would act in the situations you face.
You have to sometimes be careful with this as it may not be appropriate to blow up the whole building up with your watch, or do a flying kick to the face a la Bruce Lee! Get a ‘feel’ of a certain character, and how they work on the inside. Try to catch their essence, rather than exactly cloning them. Done with thought and care this can significantly raise your charisma levels.
So remember you should have goals that you are working towards, love yourself, listen to others, and model other charismatic people. Try to be charismatic, but don’t try too hard. Watch other people and observe what they ‘get right’ and what they ‘get wrong’ in the charisma game.
This will greatly increase your awareness over time, and help hone your skills. Pretty soon you will notice huge strides in charisma levels, and your success and enjoyment of life will also soar. Now get out there and wow the world with your new charming charismatic self!