The psychological aspect

There are hundreds of books about weight loss and dozens of diets, and yet people keep searching for that ultimate diet. The one that will actually work. The problem with diets is that they focus only on the physical aspect and you can’t diet forever. Once you quit you gain the weight back and often even more than before.

So what works? The answer is changing your life style. It works because it’s permanent. Before changing your life style it’s important to understand why you chose it in the first place. I’ll give you a couple examples:

1 Mary was molested when she was a teenager and ever since she thought that being attractive is dangerous and therefore she gained weight to protect herself. Usually such thoughts are unconscious meaning she isn’t even aware she thinks them. To change her behavior she will need to change her beliefs.

2 When John was little his mom offered him cookies every time he felt sad. With time John linked pleasure to eating and ate every time he felt sad or depressed to comfort himself, often regardless of his actual hunger. In many similar cases a vicious cycle is created. People feel bad because they’re obese so they eat to feel better; and the cycle is perpetuated.

These examples illustrate that it’s vital to understand the psychological reasons in order to successfully lose weight. It’s also important to understand your rules and their hierarchy.

Each of us has rules like I have to be nice to people, or I should clean the apartment once a week. The difference between should and have to rules are that should are rules that you prefer to do but you don’t link pain to not doing them, and have to are rules that you feel obligated to do because otherwise you’ll feel pain.

One of the differences between obese and slim people are their rules. often slim people have a big list of I have to rules like: I have to exercise four times in a week, I have to eat healthy, I can’t smoke, I can’t use drugs, etc and a short list of I should rules.

Obese people on the other hand have a long list of I should rules: I should exercise,eat healthy and so on, and a short list of I have to rules like: I have to eat, sleep eight hours, and so on. If you want to lose weight you have to make it a priority, change your I should to I have to rules. This will not mean that you’ll do something against your will, it just means that you’ll make it a high priority because you’ll understand that the current condition can’t last.

Using NLP to lose weight

Lets say you have two conflicting parts. A part that wants to lose weight, we’ll call it part X and a part that sabotages part X, we’ll call it part Y. What we want to do is to establish a communication between the parts and to reach a mutual agreement.

The following techniques are from a book called Reframing : neuro-linguistic programming and the transformation of meaning by Richard Bandler and John Grinder.After reading them choose the appropriate one and do it. It won’t help if you just read it.

These techniques include the term reframing which I want to explain first: Just like when you change the frame of a picture and suddenly everything fits and the picture looks great, Reframing in NLP means to view a situation from a different perspective. This is done to to help accept the situation and deal with it better.

Negotiating between parts

1) Ask the part that is being interrupted (part X) the following questions:

a) What is your positive function?

b) Which part(s) is (are) interrupting you? (part Y)

2) Ask the same questions of part Y:

a) What is your positive function?

b) Does X ever interfere with your function?

3) If both parts interrupt each other at times, you are now ready to
negotiate an agreement. (If not, this model is not appropriate, so
switch to another reframing model. If Y interferes with X, but X
doesn’t interfere with Y, six-step reframing with Y may be most
appropriate.)

a) Ask Y if its function is important enough that Y would be willing
to not interrupt X so that it could receive the same treatment in return.

b) Ask X if it was not interrupted by Y, would it be willing to not interrupt Y?

4) Ask each part if it will actually agree to do the above for a specified
amount of time. If either part becomes dissatisfied for any reason, it
is to signal the person that there is a need to renegotiate.

5) Ecological check: “Are there any other parts involved in this?” “Are
there any other parts that interrupt this part, or that utilize these
interruptions?” If so, renegotiate.

Six Step Reframing

1) Identify the pattern (X) to be changed. “I want to stop X’ing but I
can’t,” or “I want to Y, but something stops me.”

2) Establish communication with the part responsible for the pattern.

a) “Will the part of me that makes me X communicate with me in
consciousness?” Pay attention to any feelings, images, or sounds that occur in response to asking that question internally.

b) Establish the “yes/no” meaning of the signal. Have it increase in brightness, volume, or intensity for “yes,” and decrease for “no.”

3) Separate the behavior, pattern X, from the positive intention of the
part that is responsible for X. The unwanted behavior is only a way to achieve some positive function.

a) Ask the part that runs X “Would you be willing to let me know in consciousness what you are trying to do for me by Pattern X?”

b) If you get a “yes” response, ask the part to go ahead and communicate its intention. If you get a “no” response, proceed with
unconscious reframing, presupposing positive intention.

c) Is that intention acceptable to consciousness? Do you want to
have a part of you which fulfills that function?

d) Ask the part that runs X “If there were ways to accomplish your positive function that would work as well as, or better than X, would you be interested in trying them out?”

4) Access a creative part, and generate new behaviors to accomplish
the positive function.

a) Access experiences of creativity and anchor them, or ask “Are
you aware of a creative part of yourself?”

b) Have the part that runs X communicate its positive function to
the creative part, allow the creative part to generate more choices to accomplish that function, and have the part that used to run X select three choices that are at least as good or better than X. Have it give a “yes” signal each time it selects such an alternative.

5) Ask the part “Are you willing to take responsibility for using the
three new alternatives in the appropriate context?” This provides a
future-pace. In addition you can ask the part at the unconscious
level to identify the sensory cues that will trigger the new choices,
and to experience fully what it’s like to have those sensory cues
effortlessly and automatically bring on one of the new choices.

6) Ecological Check. “Is there any part of me that objects to any of the three new alternatives?” If there is a “yes” response, recycle to step 2 above.
The following videos will help you lose weight using hypnosis

www.youtube.com/watch?v=svh7r96WXJg

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ubz8ngcP5_0

www.youtube.com/watch?v=lAEyYSJ7YrE

www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFVw4F7nObw

www.youtube.com/watch?v=pREKX_-0NyI

The physical aspect

It’s important to understand that the changes I offer are for life, it’s not a diet. As you know changing your psychology isn’t enough. To lose weight you have to eat less calories than the body consumes. To do so you’ll have to do two things: cut back on your calories and exercise.

Eat healthy

The easiest way to cut back on your calories is to eat less fat. Don’t eat: butter, milk with high percentages of fat, gravy for salads. Eat: lean meat, lean chicken (without the skin) and vital fats like: avocado, salmon and almonds. Of course in the right amount.

Although controlling your calories is essential it’s not enough, it’s equally important to control your hormones. The hormones manage the body’s metabolism. Repressing the hormones that are responsible for fat accumulation will result in a large quantity of fats that can be burn in activity.

To effectively manage your hormones you need to manage your Carbohydrates, because consuming carbohydrates elevates the levels of insulin in the body. Insulin is a hormone that interferes with decomposition of fats. Not all the carbohydrates are the same. Simple carbohydrates like the ones in white bread, white rice, potatoes and some cereals elevate the insulin very fast and therefore should be avoided. On the other hand complex carbohydrates like the ones in whole wheat bread, oats, yam and beans should be in your daily menu.

Calories and hormones determine whether the nutrition will be used to build muscles or to build fat, While the number of meals during the day affects the general metabolism. Every time you eat the metabolism increases slightly. If you’ll eat six times in a day your metabolism will increase six times.

It’s a way to lose weight without eating less. It doesn’t mean that you need to eat more, on the contrary you will need to eat less in each meal and chew slowly because it takes approximately twenty minutes before the brain signals the body that your full.

Drink a lot of water. The following video explains more about the benefits of drinking a lot of water.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=8xQyldIzFZk

Exercise

Do aerobics (exercises for improving the body’s oxygen intake ). Aerobics include running, swimming, dancing, walking fast, yoga and so on. To produce a benefit, aerobic training must raise the heart rate (pulse) to the exerciser’s target level for at least 20 minutes and include at least three sessions a week.

Aerobics has three benefits: it improves your cardiovascular fitness, it burns calories and it influences your hormones. Aerobics elevates the norepinephrine hormone that helps burn fats. it’s best to do aerobics in the morning before eating breakfast for an hour max.

Do anaerobic exercise (exercise intense enough to trigger anaerobic metabolism). Anaerobic exercise includes: heavy weight-lifting, all types of sprints (running, biking, etc.), jumping rope, hill climbing, interval training, isometrics, or any rapid burst of hard exercise.

Besides making you stronger and improving your cardiovascular fitness it will improve your metabolism and stamina. To lose weight a good combination would be to do aerobics four times in a week and Anaerobic exercise twice in a week.

Related posts:

1. How To Master Your Emotions To Achieve Peace Of Mind
2. Resolve Your Inner Conflicts – Achieve More
3. Self Help Tactics To Reduce Depression

Reincarnation and soul mate

Before entering the physical world souls organize themselves as families, groups, tribes, nations and great nations. There are seven souls in a family, seven families in a group, seven groups in a tribe and so on.

Eventually you’ll work with most of your tribe members (343 souls). However some of us (usually the teachers) will work with the nation or even the great nation (16,807 souls).

Most of the close relationships will be with souls from your group (49 souls). Each group strives for a certain cause. The cause can be courage, healing, communication and teaching, self acceptance and so on. It doesn’t mean that each soul will have the same life, but it does mean that the souls will have similar ideals and ambitions.

The soul family will work together for many life times. Each soul family will help you decide about future life times and help evaluate your accomplishments at the passed life time.

A soul mate is a soul that belongs to one of the groups(family,tribe,group, etc) and every soul that affects you. The overall influence of the soul mate on your life will always be positive even if you can’t see it.

The relationship with a soul mate will probably be challenging. That’s because every appearance of a soul mate in your life is to show you yourself, they serve as a mirror. That’s the purpose of every human relationship.

The law of attraction works in every area of our life. Every person that is present in your life is attracted to you because your vibrations match. Before every life time we make agreements with many souls. We discuss what we can offer each other.

These souls can be your father, best friend or even an enemy. For instance John has dealt with helplessness for many life times. His struggle lead him to use violence and even substance abuse. Mary on the other hand didn’t appreciate herself and always gave her power to others.

Mary and John decided to fall in love and work together to solve their problems. Because of her relationship with an alcoholic Mary will learn that she has to start making decisions that reflect her true value. John will learn that he can’t control other people because true power comes from within.

However Mary experienced many challenges in her life and eventually started to appreciate herself. In this time her vibrations changed and so she doesn’t need to meet John anymore. Maybe she’ll meet him but she won’t have an intimate relationship with him.

Forgiveness

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. — Mahatma Gandhi

At first glance what I wrote doesn’t seem related to forgiveness. However when you understand that every “negative” event in your life happened because of your vibrations (thoughts,emotions) and that every person that hurt you really did you a favor, then you understand that you don’t need to forgive anyone because they helped you achieve what you wanted.

I’m not saying that the people that hurt you did it on purpose to help you. They didn’t know they were helping you just as you didn’t know you were helping them. If you’re still not convinced I’m gonna give you two more reasons to forgive others:

1 It will improve your health because anger that stays in your body poisons it. It leads to all kind of diseases including cancer, blood problems and it can even lead to a heart condition.

2 When you decide that someone “hurts” you, you’re resisting him and therefore focusing your attention on him. The universe responds to attention. It will bring you more of the things you’re focusing on, meaning more pain. To change that you’ll need to forgive him and focus on something positive.

Some believe that it is difficult to forgive. However If you really think about it, it is difficult to stay angry for a long time because after a while you have to remind yourself why you’re angry. It requires constant energy whereas forgiving is much easier. It doesn’t mean you’ll have to forget what happened it just means that you won’t feel hurt or angry.

There is prayer that can help you forgive:

“With love and appreciation I forgive X and accept him the way god created him. I ask X forgiveness for all the negative thoughts and emotions I had towards him. With love and appreciation x forgives me.”

Replace X with the name of the person that hurt you. Say the prayer repeatedly while thinking about the people that hurt you and their actions.

Related posts:

1. The purpose of life- Live your life to the fullest
2. How Can Past Life Regressions Help You?
3. The Seven Beliefs of Highly Happy People

Usually the children who are good at something and talented are lauded and feted by society; there’s no room for the also-rans and the jack-of-all-trades in a world where you have to excel academically, have a flair for the arts, sing like a bird, dance like a peacock, play like a jock, and so on and so forth, to be able to say that you’re a success.

This is exactly why we grow up fearing failure. What exactly is failure? In the eyes of society, it’s the act of not being outstanding at anything you attempt. Your parents expect you to top your class when you’re in school; and when you grow up, they expect you to get into the best colleges and land a high-profile job, one that will allow them to be proud of you.

Most people end up failing for this very reason – they’re not able to live up to the expectations of their loved ones. And that my friends, is the root cause of failure – EXPECTATIONS. When we don’t expect anything, it’s easy to be content with what we have. And when we are content with what we have, we’re in that elusive state we refer to as happiness.

Overcoming failure

Failure is a detour, not a dead-end street. — Zig Ziglar

So if you’re looking to overcome your fear of failure, here’s what you need to do :

1Adopt a never-say-die attitude. If there’s something you want badly, (the operative word here is YOU), there’s no shame in trying to achieve it even if you fail repeatedly. After all, if your happiness depends on it, why should you worry about what other people think or say?

History is replete with stories where success comes after multiple failures – we only have to look at the legend of Robert Bruce and the spider and Thomas Edison’s failed inventions for inspiration.

2 Think of the worst that could happen: Very often, the worst that could happen is that you suffer varying levels of embarrassment. Sometimes you also end up losing precious time, money and other resources. But if what you stand to gain is much more valuable than what you could lose in the process of trying, it’s worth making the effort.

3Think of the best that could happen: What if you end up achieving your goals in a spectacular manner? You’d never know how it felt unless you tried. Albert Einstein, one of the greatest geniuses of all time, said that genius was 1 percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration. So if you try hard enough and put your heart and soul into attaining your goal, you’re definitely well on the road to success.

It’s always the first step that’s the hardest to take; once you get past this, you’re definitely going to gain courage with each and every further step that you take. So if you’re able to muster up the strength to take the initial initiative, you have nothing to fear but fear itself.

In this video Phil Van Hooser explains more about the fear of failure.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=LvtOMLocVeg

Related posts:

1. Treat Your Anxiety, Free Yourself
2. Treating Anxiety – Even More Techniques
3. 8 Obstacles To Using The Law Of Attraction Successfully

Some people when they fail decide that “it is all just a big scam” or that they just weren’t “positive” enough. In this post I want to share eight impediments to using the law of attraction successfully.

By knowing the obstacles we can avoid them and deal with them if needed, it also provides another reason for the failure.

1 Negative thoughts- these are all the thoughts that negate the idea of the achievement. Let’s say you want a promotion at work or a better paying job , negative thoughts would be thinking about all the reasons why you won’t achieve it: The economy is in recession, your coworkers have a better connection with the boss, you don’t always succeed at your job and so on.

Clearly this way of thinking is the exact opposite of what you should be doing- thinking about all the reasons why you will succeed. It doesn’t matter what you think the “reality” is.

For example let’s take the last argument- you don’t always succeed at your job, think about all the managers you (If it didn’t happen to you it probably happened to one of your friends.) had who were less qualified then you. The “reality” is fluid it constantly changes according to your point of view. When you know you deserve it you’ll achieve it.

2 You’re not motivated enough- If I tell you that you have one year to make a million dollar or else I’ll kill you or your family and you can’t go to the cops will you achieve it? This is a radical example yet it shows that with the right amount of motivation you can achieve anything.

Find what motivates you, if for instance you want a luxury car go to the dealership and ask them to test drive it. Feel what it will be like when you’ll own such a car. Collect pictures of it and anything that will make you feel that you own it. Remind yourself why you want it. There are countless resources for motivation: books, seminars ,audio cassettes use them daily.

People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing -- that’s why we recommend it daily. — Zig Ziglar

3Patience- Although you create your reality with your thoughts and emotions, it takes time. How much time? That depends on the ratio between beneficial and negative thoughts and upon your skills. It’s a simple math, the more positive thoughts believing that it is possible for you the quicker it will be achieved.

Another example is if you are working on changing your personality (e.g. become braver or more assertive) then you have to give yourself time to change.

4 Attachment- The word attachment means that you fear you’ll fail. You’re attached to the outcome rather than release it to the universe. The attachment doesn’t have to be a word or a phrase you say to yourself, sometimes it is just a feeling, a fear that you won’t achieve your desired outcome.

To release it remember that it is your job to decide what it is you want and do whatever you can to achieve it, after that the universe will do the rest.

5Doing nothing- It is not enough to visualize your desired outcome or to repeat affirmations. You have to help god help you. If you want to lose weight and you don’t eat less or exercise you’ll probably won’t lose weight. All the techniques should supplement they aren’t the main course of action. If it is difficult try a mentor or a coach someone that achieved it already or someone that will motivate you and give you tools to succeed.

In this video Will Smith talks about the law of attraction and about the importance of work.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pke9gEZfJXk

6Beliefs- Sometimes your believes get in the way of your outcome. For instance if you want to be rich but you believe that all rich people are greedy or that “money doesn’t grow on trees” and so on then even if you’ll make a lot of money you’ll find ways to get rid of it even quicker, after all you don’t want to be greedy right? You’ll need to work on those believes before you’ll see progress.

You can work on your beliefs on your own or use a professional.

7Asking god- Believe it or not asking god isn’t a good idea because:
a) He/she already knows what you want.
b) By asking you’re declaring that you don’t create your reality after all if you did you wouldn’t ask god for help right?
c) You implant the idea that you don’t have the things you ask for now.

What you can do is to feel and think as if the things you want are already present in your life. Don’t try to lie to yourself, if you’re trying to lose weight and you can’t say to yourself that you’re thin then at least you can say that you’re becoming thinner every day. Say it with emotion, really feel it and believe it.

8 Not wanting it enough- All the aforementioned impediments really come down to this one. All the obstacles are really excuses. If right now you’ll decide that you’re going to dedicate your life to become rich and really focus solely on this: you will go to seminars to get a financial education, you’ll find a mentor, you’ll work on your people skills etc, You will become rich without a doubt.

Yes it requires a sacrifice, you’ll probably have to watch less TV and maybe see your friends less often. So is it worth it? Your answer will determine your success.

Related posts:

1. The Secret Exposed – Create your Reality.
2. The Seven Beliefs of Highly Happy People
3. Are you feeling lucky?