Spirituality and Self Help » Anxiety

Using Words For The Health Of It

shimon — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 23:23:28 +0000

This is a guest post by Diana M. Raab. Diana is the author of Healing With Words: A Writer’s Cancer Journey (Loving Healing Press, 2010). You can visit her blog or website. Diana is participating in the WOW! Women On Writing Blog Tour.

When life takes an unexpected turn, writing can be a beneficial form of release from stress, due to either emotional or physical factors.

Many published authors, including myself, have used writing as a catalyst for their survival during difficult times.

Some of them include: Anaïs Nin, Joan Didion, Reeve Lindbergh, Tobias Wolff, D.H. Lawrence, Isabel Allende, Vivian Gornick, Kathryn Harrison, Sue William Silverman, and May Sarton.

For us, writing has provided purpose and meaning to our lives. It gives one a reason to wake up in the morning and continue on with the day.

D.H. Lawrence, for example, sat at his mother’s bedside and while she was dying, wrote poems about her. He also began composing an early draft of Sons and Lovers, his novel which explored their complicated, loving, painful and close relationship.

Marcel Proust wrote Remembrance of Things Past while sick in bed with asthma. Flannery O’Connor wrote some of her best stories while dying from lupus. I wrote my first book, Getting Pregnant and Staying Pregnant back in 1983 while on bed rest with my eldest daughter.

The book began as a journal typed on my Smith Corona that was mounted on a specially-designed bed table my husband built for me. After my daughter was born, I condensed the journal into a prologue and added research to create a self-help reference book for women having similar experiences.

Now, more than twenty years later, the book is still in print and has helped many women cope with problem pregnancies.
My most recent book Healing With Words: A Writer’s Cancer Journey also began as a journal and was recently published as a self-help memoir to help others battling cancer.

My background as a writer allows me to help and teach others while helping myself navigate through difficult times.

May Sarton and Anais Nin also used journaling to pull them through difficult times. In her book, Recovering, May Sarton chronicled her battle with depression and cancer. Anaïs Nin used her journals to write to her deranged father who left the family when she was young.

In Nin’s case, her journal entries became a springboard for a four-volume collection of published diaries. As one can see, journaling can be a cathartic way to express feelings. My attitude is: “Direct the rage to the page.”

I have a writing colleague who says, “If it hurts, write harder,” and for years those words were posted above my computer, until they simply became a part of me.

At an Associated Writing Conference a few years ago, Dr. James Pennebaker, author of Writing to Heal said, “Writing dissolves some of the barriers between you and others. If you write, it’s easier to communicate with others.” He does have one rule that he calls, “the flip out rule,” which proclaims that if you get too upset when writing, then simply stop.

Pennebaker believes that there’s a certain type of writing which erupts when we’re faced with loss, death, abuse, depression and trauma.

Whether affected by change, loss or pain, finding the time to write is critical to your healing process. Some people prefer to journal about their experience, while others may lean towards the fictional or poetic modalities to help them escape their own realities. Whatever your choice, once you try it, you’ll see that writing, in any form, can be healthy and empowering.

Reasons to journal

To discover yourself
To vent frustrations and cherish joys
To record and remember events
To fine one’s purpose
To plan for the future
To tap into your intuition
To become empowered
To build self-confidence
To allow self-expression
To uncover secrets, sometimes unknown to us
To improve communication skills
To improve mental health

Journaling tips

Date entries
Don’t worry about grammar
Be honestly and write deeply
Write quickly
Don’t erase
Write for yourself

Journaling prompts

Make a list of things which make you happy.
Make a list of what makes you angry.
Make a list of your accomplishments.
Write about your morning. Waking up, breakfast, the newspaper, the thoughts. Visualize a place you love and write about it. Give details.
What is your first memory?
Describe your childhood room.
Who are the people you love?
Describe a grandparent.
Write about books which have changed your life and why.

Six Ways Spirituality Can Boost Wellness

shimon — Sat, 17 Apr 2010 11:02:14 +0000

This guest post is contributed by Karen Anderson, who writes on the topic of online bible colleges . Karen welcomes your comments at her email : karen.anderson441@gmail.com
It’s a diverse world we live in, one that is filled with a number of religions and Gods.

Some religions like Buddhism are a way of life, others like Christianity and Islam believe in the teachings of one God, while others like Hinduism have a pantheon of Gods and rituals.

On the other hand there are the atheists and agnostics, the ones who believe that there is no God or spiritual being who is responsible for our destiny.

Spirituality however is something that is innate in each of us; it is godly and goes beyond the belief in God because even non-believers are spiritual. To define it in a nutshell, spirituality is the voice of your conscience, that tiny nudge from inside that tells you if you’re doing right or wrong.

So here is how you can use spirituality to boost your wellness quotient, the instant feeling when you wake up in the morning that tells you all is well with your world:

1Listen to your conscience: In short, don’t do anything that makes you feel guilty after it’s done. If you knowingly do something wrong, your conscience is going to prick you continuously until you apologize for your mistake or seek amends in an alternative way.

2Do unto others as you would have them do unto you: This sounds like something from the Bible, but it applies to practical life very well. If you don’t like being lied to or cheated, don’t do the same to other people. If you want respect and admiration, be prepared to offer them yourself. In general, people respond to the way you treat them, and treat you accordingly.

3Expect very little: I always teach my children that expectation is the root cause of disappointment. When you expect other people to make you happy or relieve your sadness, you’re only building a dependence that could become addictive and unhealthy. Instead, trust your own mind and heart and find constructive ways to build your self-esteem and confidence.

4Give in to your loved ones: No man is an island, and the relationships we form as we go through life say a lot about us. When you value your loved ones and treat them well, you forge deeper and more emotional bonds with them. And you’re not going to lose anything when you give in to them once in a while instead of getting your way all the time. Relationships are all about tolerance and understanding, not who’s right or wrong.

5Let go of everything that’s unhealthy and stressful: It may be a relationship that is going nowhere; it could be the food that you gorge on; or it could be a lifestyle that is hedonistic – whatever it is, it’s best you give it up for your own good. It may be difficult at first, but when you strive hard and hold on to your willpower and self-control, you’ll be very satisfied that you beat a personal demon.

6Set a side a few minutes every day for some quite time. A time you dedicate for breathing and nothing else. If you suddenly realize you’re worrying about something just say to yourself: this is my quiet time, if I’ll need to I’ll dedicate a few minutes to worrying later. This act will replenish your energy and help you cope with everyday life.

Getting to know your spiritual side and becoming more in tune with it helps you become a better person, someone with fewer base emotions and more good ones.

How Writing Can Save Your Life

shimon — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 20:45:55 +0000

This is a guest post by B. Lynn Goodwin. Lynn is a freelance writer, editor, teacher, former caregiver, and the author of You Want Me To Do WHAT? – Journaling for Caregivers (Tate Publishing), which can be purchased at Amazon, through Writer Advice, or from your local bookstore. She is published in numerous anthologies, magazines, newspapers, e-zines, and blogs, and she owns Writer Advice . When you visit the website, be sure to click on Journaling for Caregivers. Lynn is participating in the WOW! Women On Writing Blog Tour.
Have you ever been a caregiver for a spouse, parent, child, special needs child, or yourself?

If so, you know that you spend every spare minute driving to medical appointments, stopping at the pharmacy, cooking, answering questions,

paying bills, giving medicine, adjusting machines, returning phone calls, and helping with matters that used to be private.

Why write about it?

Writing gives perspective and restores sanity. Writing is a lifeline as well as a record. Writing will improve your life and could even save it. Do not underestimate the power of journaling.
It allows you to vent, delve into issues, and untangle messes. It lets you analyze or celebrate. It allows you to finish a thought without interruption. Journaling releases mental toxins and deepens awareness.

What do you do if you don’t know what to write about?

One way to avoid facing a blank page is to use sentence starts. There are over 200 of them in You Want Me to Do WHAT? Journaling for Caregivers, and they will trigger all kinds of memories, plans, and ideas.

Want to try it right now? Pick one of the sentence starts listed here:
Today, I want…
Sometimes I wonder…
I lust after…
It’s hard to admit…
What if…
I will always love…
Finish the sentence and keep going. You are journaling. Explore your hopes and fears. Vent. Analyze. Process. Reflect. Make discoveries and find the hope that can hide when you are overwhelmed by your daily routine.

Are judgment gremlins nagging at you as you write? Ask them to go outside or tell them to play on the freeway. Your journal is yours. It does not need their approval.

Journaling helps you see yourself and your loved one from a new perspective. Journals never interrupt or argue. They let you evaluate, interpret, and rediscover your love.
Use the prompts in You Want Me to Do WHAT? to ease the stress of caring for a patient with dementia, stroke, cancer or any degenerative disease.

Use them if you care for someone with special needs or a mental illness.
Use them if you are a primary caregiver, spouse of a primary caregiver, or a long distance caregiver.
Use these prompts if you are in any kind of dependent relationship. Use them to process the end of a relationship. They will help you understand what happened.
Writing is therapeutic. It saves lives. Your truths are eager to come out. Let them spill onto the page, and see what doors writing opens for you.

Spirit and Psychology: Ego and the Greater Self

shimon — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 21:30:44 +0000

This is a guest post by Paul Maurice Martin. Paul is the author of Original Faith: What Your Life Is Trying to Tell You. He has master’s degrees in religious studies and counseling and blogs at www.originalfaith.com. Paul is participating in the WOW! Women On Writing Blog Tour.

How can you tell the spiritual you from the psychological you? Both concepts refer to inner life and there’s certainly some overlap. However, recognizing these four major differences can be important to your personal development.

Egoism vs. the Greater Self – Egoism has myriad manifestations, but is basically a distorted view of self that produces negative effects on self and others. For example, it may lead us to place a higher priority on personal convenience or luxury than on the real needs of other people – or, in a self-deprecating mode, to judge ourselves more harshly than we would ever judge others.

Psychology works primarily with the ego and how it becomes elaborated as we defend and justify it. In contrast, the spiritual self is a greater self that’s as much a part of being human as egoism. It’s the self that keeps us in perspective and places our desires in the context of the greater good.

Past vs. Present – Psychology is about how our past lives on in our present. Included are old wounds from childhood that add energy to our egoistic desires and anxieties, and long established patterns of thought that are self defeating and harmful to others. Spirituality is about finding out what we’re like when we leave the past behind.

Complicated vs. Simple – Psychological work is complicated. It involves insight into past events, how they affected us, how this is reflected in our current patterns of thought and behavior, and unlearning those patterns. In contrast, spiritual techniques such as meditation and mindfulness are simple. The greater self to which they lead us is also simple in the best sense of the word.

Others vs. Life Itself or God – Psychology focuses primarily on how we experience ourselves in relation to other individuals. Although spirituality has profound implications for how we relate to others, its focus is on how we experience ourselves in relation to life as a whole, or, according to our beliefs, God.

Spiritual practices like sitting meditation and mindfulness techniques aren’t remedies for levels of anxiety, depression, or neurosis that seriously impact our day-to-day functioning and satisfaction with life. Whether we are able to do it on our own or with professional help, we need to do the heavy lifting of addressing any seriously self-limiting psychological issues that we face before spiritual experiences and practices can transform us into the person of our best intentions and our highest aspirations.