Radical Acceptance

17 Comments 31 March 2011

This is a guest post by Lisa Shoreland. Lisa is currently a resident blogger at Go College, where recently she’s been researching nursing grants as well as Stafford loans. In her spare time, she enjoys creative writing, practicing martial arts, and taking weekend trips.
Individuals who have undergone radical acceptance describe the experience as being liberating, as if seeing clearly after drowning in a thick fog.

The term refers to a skill taught within dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT), originally developed by Marsha M. Linehan to treat individuals with borderline personality disorder.

today it’s used to help sexual abuse survivors, disordered eaters, and individuals suffering from mood disorders, self-injury, chemical dependencies, and other ailments. DBT combines cognitive-behavioral techniques for emotion regulation with Buddhism-derived concepts such as tolerance, acceptance, and mindful awareness.

Radically Accepting Yourself

So, what does radical acceptance really mean to you?
Everyone has problems. Everyone has undergone some manner of suffering. No matter the incident, what is small to one may be life-changing for another, and everyone’s suffering is valid. This point alone may cause stumbling, but radical acceptance goes a step further.

By definition, radical acceptance means to let go of fighting reality and to accept one’s situation as it is. This situation can range from being overweight to having cancer, from having fought with one’s significant other or being abandoned by a parent. It takes into consideration the suffering we cause ourselves. Most of us fumble day after day in what-ifs and I-wishes, trying to dip our toes in waters that are real nowhere but in our heads and hearts. “My life has been full of terrible misfortunes,” Mark Twain said, “most of which never happened.”

Radical acceptance is not about washing away our cares and suffering by saying they don’t matter. There is no judgment, only that it is. Radical acceptance is saying, “Even though I have this problem, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
This is no easy feat, but try it yourself.

The Steps to Radical Acceptance

Combine radical acceptance with a piece of Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) involving nothing more than your hands. EFT is a form of alternative psychotherapy that, whether through energy manipulation as proponents claim or the placebo effect as skeptics dismiss, can bring you closer to radical acceptance.

1 Either aloud or silently to yourself, say the affirmation:
Even though I ____, I deeply and completely accept myself.

Fill the blank with a problem you are currently facing, such as a fear, a craving, anger, etc.

2 Say the affirmation three times while tapping the fleshy part of the outside of your dominant hand between your wrist and the base of the little finger. Use the tips of the index and middle fingers of your non-dominant hand to tap the point on your dominant hand. The action will bring your focus to what is current and real, taking you farther away from your perceived problems.

Follow these steps every day at least once, perhaps when you get out of bed or before you fall asleep, or each time you begin to feel a what-if or I-wish coming on.

Your Comments

17 Comments so far

  1. Jonas says:

    Thank you so much for this post. I have been and still am struggling with my own self-acceptance and your post reminded me of the helpful habits that I have again forgotten.

    For me, “The power of Now” and “The mandala of being” were incresibly helpful and I can only recommend them.

    Thank you for getting me back on track ;)

    Jonas
    Jonas´s last blog post ..Loving Ourselves

  2. Anthony says:

    I have known about EFT for about four years now. I have used it for a number of things. It has helped with anxiety and it has helped me in staying focused. Very easy to use and effective.

  3. Future says:

    Hello. Very good your work. I invite you to know the next release of AMAZON. The book “Chatting with the Universe.” And I congratulate you on your blog

  4. becca says:

    i honestly think,your website is amazing,and this post is a great way,it truly works:)

  5. Sherry says:

    What a great tool! Someone said that the only real gift that we can give to ourselves or others is to not judge. Taken at its core I think this is what you are talking about, acceptance. We too often judge ourselves and others and forget our perfection. Thanks for this wonderful blog.

    Blessings,
    Sherry
    Sherry´s last blog post ..Just Listen

  6. I found your website perfect for my needs. It helped me, and I’ll certainly install what you recommend. You have something good going here, keep it up!

  7. The opposite of acceptance is a routine of guilt, fear and anger. All of which disturbs the Peace and Joy that is your natural inheritance.
    Craig Villarrubia´s last blog post ..Sadness Exposed

  8. Kralfm says:

    Thank you very much for these articles.

  9. Mihai says:

    Wow, that fascinating. Please update what happens

  10. paris france says:

    Thank you for your essential article. Very interesting entry, I look forward to the next! Thx for share

  11. Vashikaran says:

    My brother recommended I would possibly like this blog. He was totally right. This post truly made my day. You can not believe just how a lot time I had spent for this information! Thanks!
    Vashikaran´s last blog post ..What Is Vaastu Shastra

  12. I do not even understand how I finished up right here, however I assumed this post was once good. I do not recognise who you’re but certainly you’re going to a famous blogger in case you aren’t already. Cheers!

  13. Love the positive reenforcement from this message.

    The idea that just putting yourself in the right state of mind will make you live a better life is absolutely the case.

  14. Michele says:

    Thank you Lisa. That was facinating. The technique of DBT is new to me and I knew that EFT is used for many emotional and psychological conditions but using it for self-acceptance is inspired!
    Thank you for sharing.
    Peace,
    Michele
    Michele´s last blog post ..Small Miracles

  15. http says:

    whoah this blog is fantastic i like studyong your posts.
    Keep up tthe good work! You know, a lot of persons are searching around for ths info, you
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