Some of the books I read talk about doing what’s easy in life. They say that if faced with an obstacle you should always seek an easier path, because there are a lot more ways to choose from than we can see.
From my experience sometimes when you are doing what’s hard you are making the biggest progress, because the experience molds you just like a bodybuilder pushing weights to mold his body. His muscles grow by pain, not excessive pain but just in the right amount.
So what’s the right amount? Like many things in life it’s something that requires balance. For instance if you come from work and you watch TV for 4 hours and then go to sleep instead of doing something that you really want like reading something beneficial or even dating if you’re single, than clearly you’re not doing enough of what’s hard.
What’s hard and what’s easy are really only definitions that we make. Objectively there are no easy or hard, what’s easy for me may be hard for you and vice versa. It all depends on how you link pain and pleasure.
Each time you do something that’s hard, you increase your options thus making yourself more flexible and therefore more powerful. The more options you have in any given situation the more powerful you become.
However sometimes what you want is way above your competence at the moment thus making it virtually impossible for you. If that’s the case then you should consider how much do you want it? In some cases there are easier alternatives that can satisfy your needs in other ways, for example if you want to be rich because you think it will give a peace of mind than what you really want is peace of mind and that can be achieved with less effort.
If however you decide that you want to achieve something and you try for a long time without results you should consider requesting help. It’s not easy to admit that we need help. For some reason we assume that we should be able to know everything and always act according to our needs.
Deep down inside you know what you should do, it is the things that frighten you the most that you should do first. I know it’s hard but there are really no alternatives. If you won’t do what’s necessary sooner or later your body will start sending signals and you will probably feel physical pain. Remember what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
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10 Responses to “Do What’s Right – Do What’s Hard”
Lea
1 year ago
I have awarded the “I Love Your Blog” award to you. You can get the information on my site. Have a great day!
Leas last blog post..More About My Mother
Carol King
1 year ago
Hi, wonderful post, I think if a person steps just a little outside of their normal comfort zone then they have found their “difficulty” level. Being even slightly off balance forces one to operate at a higher level than before.
Carol Kings last blog post..How To Attract The Common Cold
shimon
1 year ago
hey Carol King
Thanks for the comment, and that was exactly what I meant if you step out of your comfort zone you become more potent.
Rob
1 year ago
Hi. I’m disabled and I’ve got this thing growing on my neck. I owe a lot of money and I’m in pain every day. The last time my son took me to the doctor(for this thing growing on my neck), I asked him what the secret of happiness was.
He seemed happy, after all. Plus his undergrad degree came with a GPA that made my 3.8 look like a nice try, but no cigar. Now he’s in graduate school, even. He has friends. And he can drive.
He told me.
“Retorts, dad. Always have some good retorts ready. Make a list of ‘em and carry it with you when you go to the doctor for that thing growing on your neck. Then whip out the list and talk with everyone in the waiting room. Using those retorts could be your hobby. You could polish them up, add new ones. It’ll make you feel great. At night, when your sitting alone with your lite beer and twinkies, you’ll say to yourself, “Here’s another thing I could have told the fat guy with six fingers.””
He went on like that until we got to the doctor.
I’m still paying for his education
Robs last blog post..The Fudgsicle vs. the Million Dollar Bonus
shimon
1 year ago
Hey Rob,
Retorts is actually a good idea because it distracts you from your pain,It makes you focus on other things. The second advice talking to everyone in the waiting room is also a great advice. It makes you more friendly and it can ease the pain. By the way, have you heard of the secret? If you didn’t I highly recommend you to read it. We create our reality all of it not just some parts. By changing the way you think you can change your reality.
with love,
shimon
lucky emperor
1 year ago
Be completely honest with yourself.
Patrick Dieter, BA, CDP, CADC II
11 months ago
I agree that pushing through resistance has its place in personal growth. I disagree that we all know what we “should” do. The word “should”, in my opinion, is possibly the filthiest, dirtiest curse word in the English language. It ALWAYS means that we are trying to look good, or pass muster for someone else’s idea of what we ought to be. This is fundamentally a disconnect from one’s true desires. Fact is, if I come home from work and flip on the TV, I did NOT really want to read a book. I might have believed that I “should” read a book because it is “good for me” and I very probably have enjoyed reading books on occasion in the past. I probably believed this because I heard from a lot of other people that reading books is somehow better than watching TV. In working with addicts, it is very important to reach this level of honesty. If an addict cannot acknowledge that they used drugs because they wanted to, and that it felt very good to do so at some point, then healing will not occur. I know that the later stages are filled with ambivalence, thought discrepancies and distorted messages from the limbic system, but this first step still must occur before the client can examine the pros and cons of using vs. reduction or abstinence.
shimon
11 months ago
Hi Patrick,
Thank you I really enjoyed reading your comment. I think you’re right sometimes we know what we should do and sometimes we don’t. In this article I’m talking about the times we do know.
If for example you’re a student at a university and you’ve two options study for your exams or watch t.v and you choose the latter because you really want to watch t.v that is an acceptable choice but a better choice would be to study assuming you want to stay at the university. In this case it’s better to make an effort in order to bear fruits in the future.
Isabel
11 months ago
Thank you for the article. Really useful and I will share it with my client.
http://www.dcvacounseling-psychotherapy.com
Isabel´s last blog ..Loneliness or Solitude
shimon
11 months ago
Thanks Isabel, I’m glad you like it.